soft fruity white mornings
Today I found myself halfway up an exposed rock face on Mt Beerwah feeling really fuckin scared. I knew that if I fell, I would slide and roll a good 200 meters to the bottom and potentially a horrible death. This was a strange feeling for me. I couldn’t simply opt-out. Just walk away or ask someone else to fix it. Nobody else in the world could change my situation except me. All I could do was trust my own ability and keep going.
I haven’t felt fear that real in years.
Nothing makes me more disgusted than people who say ‘poop’. I feel physically sick just typing it. People who say ‘poo’ on the other hand are brilliant. e.g.
'Susie did a poo near Timothy's motorcycle to spite him.' - Wonderful.
'Grandma threw poo at her realtor during yesterdays meeting.' - Great.
'I got you a new hat.. nahh it's just some poo you silly billy.' - Excellent.
'Jeremy left his poop in the toilet.' - I will take away your life you evil cretin.
I’ve been listening to the Ramones/The Saints first albums along with Henry Rollins interviews non stop lately and last night in my dreams Henry Rollins followed me around and assessed how punk everything in my life was. It’d be along the lines of *me putting on shoes* and Henry Rollins would say ‘How are those supporting our scene!?” and I’d respond with ‘Fuck you I wanna wear em’ Henry” and he’d approve because of my punk response.
If more men said “don’t be that guy” to each other instead of “not all men” to women… what a wonderful world this could be.
WHICH ABUSERS ARE MOST LIKELY TO CHANGE
His close friends and relatives recognize that he is abusive and tell him that he needs to deal with it. They support the abused woman instead of supporting him. I have a much more difficult time with the abuser whose friends and family back up his excuses and encourage his disrespect for the woman.
His partner gets the most unreserved, unequivocal support from her friends and relatives, her religious community, and from the legal system if she needs it. The more consistently she receives the message that the abuse is in no way her fault and that her community intends to stand behind her 100 percent, the stronger and safer she feels to settle for nothing less than fully respectful treatment from her partner or ex-partner.
Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That”
When confronted with the fact that someone we’re friends with or admired is abusive, there’s a reluctance to support survivors even in leftist communities. But we want to maintain our credibility as an anti-violence advocate, while defending the admired person. You’ll see there’s a rush to defend the humanity of an abuser (not to reaffirm the humanity of the abused). But how do we pretend to be against violence ‘in our communities’ while still defending the abuser? We say that we can’t be too harsh on the abuser. That we can’t cut ties. That not welcoming the abuser into circles is itself an abusive and violent act. That by criticizing them too harshly we’re not going to change anything but we’ll hurt our community! How can we expect the abuser to change unless we let them know we support them as a human being.
And the abuser is counting on that. The abuser is counting on your neutrality or your unwillingness to ‘condemn’ them. Oh, they’ll make some heartfelt plea about changing. A Tumblr post where they says that they are holding themselves accountable. They’ll use socially conscious language, apologize to their victim (while emphasizing their own lack of control in the situation, while giving pages and pages about their tragic backstory and sparing maybe a paragraph talking about the humanity of the person who they hurt).
Few people could be involved in anti-violence movements unless we believed in the possibility of creating a world with less violence. But in a world that by default supports abusers and is questioning what their victim must’ve done to deserve abuse, it is far more radical for a person to unequivocally support an abused person than it is to muse about really the right thing to do is to invite an abuser to social circles, to parties, to protests, to meetings.
But doing that is not innocuous. It tells the abused person that you’d rather welcome the abuser into those spaces than make it comfortable for their victim. It tells the abused person that they’ve been forgiven - as if anyone but their victim has the right to do so.
To not tolerate abusive people in our spaces is not giving up on the idea that we can end violence. Not tolerating abusive people is a commitment to creating a culture where domestic and sexual violence is unacceptable.
Just thought I’d see what the Iggy Azalea hype is all about and her fake accent made me so uncomfortable I had to take about five breaks in order to make it to the end of the song.
i love how everyone’s like “it’s shocking how australia is so racist” and it’s like no it’s not shocking australia’s always been racist white australia was founded on the most horrific colonialist imperialist values with a couple of disgusting attempts at genocide on the way what’s actually shocking is how much australia likes ABBA